When you date, you are likely to come across two types of people: those who have huge admiration for dating and those who prefer keeping their options open. The former loves the feeling of being together and just cannot wait to walk down the aisle with their loved one. They see it as a way of cementing their love.
On the other hand, the latter believe that something better is always around the corner and have commitment phobia. These kinds of people rarely allow a relationship to get serious. They hold the belief that every girl that they date will unalterably fall in love with them and will want to marry them.
In this article, you will come across different symptoms of a commitment-phobic, so that you can avoid falling in love with one.
1. The Person Only Responds to Sexual Contact from You
You need to know that a true commitment phobic is afraid of any kind of commitment that associates other people and not simply relationship commitment. It might involve difficulty in making big decisions in every aspect of life. The fear is generally connected to making promises to other people. Falling in love with a person who has commitment phobia symptoms can turn out to be a nightmare. This is the reason you need to watch out for signs of commitment phobia before you discover yourself to be hopelessly in love with a person like that.
You might feel that indulging in sexual activities is a good way to draw their attention. You might be able to entice them for some time, but when their appetite is satiated, they will leave. However, if you notice that the person consistently and reliably responds to you when there is a chance of sleeping together or when you dirty text him, he is definitely in it for sex.
In case, the person ignores your text, emails, and calls suggesting a dinner, time with friends, or movie time, on a regular basis, but replies to anything that has a sexual innuendo, there is a high chance that the person is here to have fun and sex. The person perhaps prefers a relationship with no strings attached. Of course, people have their own need, but if it happens to be only sexual in nature then it might be a clear sign.
2. All Their Previous Relationships Were Short and Casual
The person might have a history of flings or short relationships. Albeit, this might not be valid in each and every case, but in case you are with someone who has had some fair number of relationships and yet not a single one of them has turned out to be serious then beware. It might a proof that the person is backing out as soon as they start feeling that things are getting real.
The relationship might have been deep and might also have lasted for months or years, and they were vague relationships without any kind of significant discussions about the future with you. This kind of person justifies their history by saying that they haven’t yet met the woman of their choice and they still have ample time to settle down.
3. They Don’t Introduce You to Their Family Due to Commitment Phobia
Do not be alarmed if you are in a new relationship. Sometimes, people are shy regarding introducing their dating partner to their parents. Nonetheless, there are some people who do not introduce you to their family only because they have commitment phobia. Remember, it is a big deal when someone introduces you their family.
An introduction to the family means that they are no longer available in the market for dating purposes. It is inhibiting for them to make you meet their family; hence, if you dating a guy for a reasonable amount of time and yet he hasn’t introduced you to his family, it could be a matter of concern. A person who is proud of their partner will always show them off to his friends or family.
4. They Indulge in the Blame Game a Lot
At times, your partner might blame you for several things that go wrong in your life. There might be a reason behind this, you partner is failing to understand you and therefore, is incapable of handling you. Thus, they feel that their life is falling apart and easiest way by which they make themselves feel better is by blaming the other partner.
This implies that you need to stop doing things blindly. You need to think and analyze to find out if the situation is actually bad. If you find out that your partner is blaming you without any reason, then there might be a high possibility that you are dating a commitment phobic.
However, if your partner responds to problems by disappearing for a day or two, it does not necessarily imply that they are a commitment phobic. They might be the kind of person to take time out to think about stuff, alone.
5. They Gossip About Other Married Couples
If you are with someone who talks ill of married people or those taking care of the family, then it is good sign that the person doesn’t value commitment. It indicates that they have turned off the idea of a family and would like to be alone.
This kind of person might look down upon married men and might scoff at them referring to them as dumb and stupid for planning to get married. This shows the person holds a lot of self-importance and feels good by not being attached to any partner. Someone with commitment phobia quotes those who are also commitment phobic in order to back up their actions.
6. Commitment Phobic People Act Unpredictable and Get Bored Quickly
These are the kind of people who might take time to decide what they want and the decision that they take is unpredictable. Also, they have a tendency of getting bored easily. They tend to be moody and hate to plan ahead of time. This is because planning time out with you is kind of commitment for them.
In fact, they might feel uncomfortable if you are one taking charge of how you spend your time together. They prefer staying in control of the situation. In case, they agree to go according to your plan, they will cancel in the last moment or be typically late. This is an easy sign of detecting a person having commitment phobia.
7. People With Commitment Phobia Emotionally Blackmail You
Have you ever been with someone and found yourself in a lot of stress? Have you reached a point in the relationship where you just felt like crying? Your partner might be making you feel that you are suffering from paranoia and refuses to lend their shoulder to cry on then it is a sign that your partner is a commitment phobic.
At times, these people are so subtle about rejecting you that you might not even realize until it’s too late. Thus, if you notice that you are unable to be yourself around them or if you are afraid to argue with them because you are afraid that they might leave you then you need to understand that it’s time to bid your relationship goodbye. You should keep in mind that they doesn’t agree with what you want so that they might have an excuse to break up with you.
8. The Way They Talk About the Opposite Sex Makes You Uneasy
This might involve a bit of patience on your part. You might have to listen carefully to what your partner is saying and the way it is making you feel. If he talks about the opposite sex and it makes you feel uneasy, but you are just keeping quiet, because you have immense trust in your partner, then you just think about why.
If he talks about the opposite sex in such a manner, they might be feeling that they are not worthy of them and thus, cannot handle them. Therefore, there is a possibility that they will be looking for options before the commitment phobe is tied into a commitment.
9. They Often Respond Defensively and Avert Questions with Verbal Abuse
Defensiveness, along with verbal abuse is something that is too difficult for a person to deal with in a relationship. You need to identify a person who is strong and focused and is ready to take their own responsibilities. However, there are people who have had bad experiences in childhood, which have led them to become defensive and abusive.
They recognize love in the form of abuse and it is terrible to get stuck in a relationship like this. Trust your intuition and if you have friends and relatives who tell you to be careful of the relationship then you should pay attention to them. This is because your judgment might be clouded when you are in a relationship with a person, but others see them for what they are.
10. A Commitment Phobe is Scared to Talk About the Future
When you start talking about a relationship, getting married, or having children, you can almost see beads of sweat appearing on the forehead of your partner. This is an easy sign to indicate you are dating a commitment phobic. If you find that you partner has problems discussing anything related to the future, then it might be time to contemplate the future of the relationship. If you end up asking him where the relationship is leading, then you might be scaring them off.
They do not talk about the future because they are commitment phobic. They might be saying that you are different from others and that they haven’t met anyone like you, but that feeling probably doesn’t last long. They might suddenly start feeling that you are no different and might start ignoring you.
11. They Do Not Disclose Anything About Themselves
Do you talk to them for hours and yet be unaware of many intricate details of their life? When somebody is serious about a relationship, they share their life with their partner. They allow their partner into their world and shows vulnerability to some extent.
If a person isn’t opening up, it means that they are having issues involving you in their life. If they shares their dreams, hopes, and fears, it means that they are investing in you and by investing they is committing to you.
In case, your partner does not share their real self with you, if they don’t allow you to see who they are at the core, then there are high chances that they aren’t here to win you over and are not bothered about the future with you. Consider all that you know about them and think if you really know them.
12. They Disappear for a Day or Two and Act Like It’s No Big a Deal
Do you feel that your partner doesn’t really care for you? Does he make you feel that a relationship with you is a burden for them? If your partner cares enough about you then he will look forward to making room for you in his life. He might text you or call you to make you feel that you are wanted and they are thinking about you.
However, if you are in a relationship with a person who takes a vacation from the relationship without giving you any kind of warning, then it shows that he isn’t afraid of losing you. Remember, this is never a good sign. If the person knows that you will be there waiting for him, no matter how he behaves, then he is likely to take you for granted. He will not commit and will not have any respect for you.
His disappearance serves as a way to let you know that this relationship isn’t serious for him and wants to be free to do whatever he want.
13. They Do Not Take You Out on a Real Date
Do your dates mostly involve going over to their place and watching a movie or cooking? Then it is a sign that the person isn’t taking the relationship too seriously. When the person is dedicated to you, he will go out of his way to make you feel special and wanted. Many people might take it to be improper or unnecessarily, but take our word for it, when a person likes you, this kind of thing is obvious.
When the person puts in the bare minimum effort in dates, then it is clear that the person doesn’t feel that they are worth it. Obviously, there are exceptions, but those are rare. Your partner can do special things to make you feel wanted, without much financial investment.
These small actions might speak volumes about his emotions for you. If you find out that you are the only one who is making an effort to keep the relationship going then it is time to become careful, for your partner might be commitment phobic.
14. A Commitment Phobic Secretly Enjoys Putting You Down
Couples may often put each other down as a part of a joke. This doesn’t necessarily call for you to be concerned. However, if you are with a person who indirectly or directly puts you down, inculcating insecurities and fears in your life, then you should probably stay away from him. It has been researched and established that this kind of people are referred to have low mate value.
These people bring down the esteem of their partner and see it as a way of controlling them and keeping them around. These kinds of people are good at tearing down the self-esteem and self-confidence of others.
Sometimes, commitment phobia also surfaces when any of the partners is not satisfied of their physical attributes. This is usually prevalent among women. Most women with smaller breasts often feel inadequate and thus fear to get in a long relationship. If you relates to this issue, we have good news for you. There is an effective breast enhancement therapy from totalcurve.com, which contains a natural ingredient to shape your twins and make them curvier. Try the supplements and feel sexy in no time.
15. You Don’t Spend Quality Time in the Relationship
If your partner retreats into himself whenever you are together, and rarely spends time with you, even if it is just watching TV or lying down together, then it is highly likely that he might be having some commitment issues.
You might also notice that, even though you are spending time together or going out on a date, there is a lack of connection and interaction when you are together. It appears as if you take part in the actions but can hardly connect to one another. This is a sign that your partner has commitment issues and you might not have a future with him.
16. They Are Unsure About the Success of the Relationship
People who have signs of commitment phobia often try to talk you out of the relationship. They have an ambiguous feeling about achieving success in the relationship. At times, they might even joke about your liking for them like it is some sort of mistake. When the person has a fear of commitment, they will highlight all the negative qualities that they have as a test to find out if they are able to scare you off.
He tests the water with the hope that you will back out, so that he doesn’t have to. As a matter, they always think about the risks that are associated with the relationship. They are uncertain and this keeps them away from the devoting more energy to the relationship.
17. They are Always Secretive With Their Phone
Does your partner seem a tad guarded when it comes to his phone? You must be wondering why he needs their own space and hence, do not bother about it. However, it can also be that your partner is hiding something from you. It might be that he is texting some other woman, or he might also be texting his friends claiming that this relationship means nothing to him and that they feel completely unattached.
You might never ask for his phone to go through it, but being secretive about it always acts as a red flag. They might fail to prioritize you and your relationship. You shouldn’t definitely want to be broken for a person whom you cannot trust completely.
18. Commitment Issues: They Are Almost Never Jealous
Did it ever happen that you got drunk and passed out in the bed of your friend, and your partner was unmoved by the whole situation? Have you ever been to a party and tried to talk to people of the opposite sex and yet, your partner seemed to be phlegmatic about it? Then there is a possibility that your partner does not care much about the relationship and has no plan of commitment.
If he had been committed then they would have made a fuss or would have at least got jealous when you were being attentive to other people.
19. Commitment Phobic Don’t Use Words Such as Girlfriends or Boyfriends
Labels might not define a relationship; however, if a person is staying away from such terms of endearment, then it is a symptom that they do not want to make it official and want to commit to it. These kinds of people are afraid of making anything official. They might even get scared and go to the extent of running away from the situation when it is time to make an official announcement. They might also avoid situations like staying over at night, making breakfast, or using words such as girlfriend, boyfriend or eternity.
It is not wrong to be a commitment phobic. In fact, more often than not, it is a choice to be alone. However, it becomes difficult for their partner. It is difficult to identify the wolf from among the sheep. However, you need to keep in mind that actions speak louder than words and in case you are a victim of a non-commitment type of relationship then keep in mind that it is nothing personal. It is just the characteristic of that person.
The common fear of commitment phobia name is gamophobia, and there is help for it. Look out for the symptoms and try not to settle for a man who has commitment phobia. There are also ways of overcoming commitment phobia. You will come across different kinds of commitment phobia treatments, which includes psychological treatment.